I am writing this blog post with completely mixed feelings. Feelings of excitement, relief, doubt, and love.
After 9 years with my current company, I made the decision about 6 weeks ago to resign.
This decision came with a lot of conversations between Jordan and I, a lot of thought, and a lot of tears. I have loved working at my current company. I have loved being a Digital & Social Media Consultant. I have loved the people I have worked for, my clients, and the day to day. It wasn’t until recently where I felt extremely overwhelmed by my girls, by their schedules, by my lack of time at home, and by my volunteering commitments at Cincinnati Children’s.
After Louise was born, it didn’t even cross my mind that I would be leaving. I went back to work and then it hit me – I felt a HUGE pull to be home. I had similar feelings after going back to work with each baby so I gave it some time like I had in the past. The biggest difference is that things became harder, not easier, this time. I felt like I was doing a lot – but wasn’t doing anything well.
On top of that, I feel like after completing our family – I’ve woken up to what has gone on in the last 5 years. I’m realizing the gravity of all that has happened and since Bea’s diagnosis – I’ve just put my head down and worked towards her health. When she hit her 1 year post transplant, my Dad suddenly passed away. I found myself pushing through that by piling on and piling on until I was so busy I didn’t have time to really think about it all.
After the last 5 years, I am finally getting my head above water and realizing I need to take the next 6 months and focus on my family and myself. I need to cherish these fleeting moments with my girls when all they want me to do is drop them off and pick them up from school and sit with them while they have a snack. I need to deal with the fact that I can’t really even talk about my Dad without crying. I know there is more I need to deal with after that first year with Bea – I find myself still remembering things almost 5 years later that I just pushed through during that time.
I need to just be.
So, I resigned from my job and I resigned from another board that I serve on. I will be completely finished with work at the end of November. I will humbly, enthusiastically, and proudly continue to serve on the Board of Trustees for Cincinnati Children’s Hospital Medical Center and also serve on a few sub-committees within the organization.
I promised myself I would say “no” to new opportunities for 6 months while I focus on my family, After that – who knows! I am excited about what the future might bring but am really going to take time in figuring out what my plan is next. I may go back to work, I may start my own thing, I have a few other ideas but am giving myself grace and time to figure it all out.
So – I am hoping to post here more often and stay engaged through Instagram. Transitioning to a stay at home mom will be just that – a transition – and if you have any interest in following along – please do at @hillarykweidner.
Thank you for reading, following, and supporting my next chapter. I’m looking forward to spending more time with my girls.
*I also realize that not everyone has this choice and I want to make it clear that I am extremely grateful for the opportunity. It is such a blessing to stay home with my girls and to enjoy these moments when they are little.