So, I was going through the “drafts” folder of my blog and came across this post I never published. Did I not publish because it was SO personal or I was too afraid to share my real feelings about the situation? I’m not sure but looking back and reading this I feel like it is definitely worth sharing now. Some great lessons on resilience and a little insight into where my head was the weeks leading up to surgery.
[As I am coming off of a 2 week doctor appointment bender, I am hit with the gravity and severity of our situation.
Although in a time like this I find myself trying to stay very positive, I also find that I am so busy reassuring friends and family that “everything will be fine” that I don’t spend enough time truly thinking about the reality of our upcoming surgery. I find myself not sharing the scary stuff or some of the more critical points because I don’t want to scare anyone or I want to downplay the surgery because, somehow, it makes me feel better to have people think it isn’t that big of a deal. If it isn’t a big deal than everything and everyone will come out 100% right?
It is a huge deal and I think that really hit home for me over the last 2 weeks.
I’ve always tried to be a “glass half full” person and in this situation it is no exception. However, when I hear things like “she wil be in the ICU….YOU will be in the ICU…both will have breathing tubes…incisions the length of your stomach….we have to take a vein out of your leg….you can’t hold her and stand up/walk around for 8 weeks….. the news hits harder because I haven’t let my mind go to that place. So when I hear it – I feel like I’ve been hit with a ton of bricks.
I wanted to share an article my mom gave me from TIME magazine about resilience and how each person deals with different levels of stress and tragedy.
One of my favorite parts of the article was the expert tips for resilience…
1. develop a core set of beliefs that nothing can shake
2. try to find meaning in whatever stressful or traumatic thing has happened
3. try to maintain a positive outlook
4. take cues from someone who is especially resilient
5. don’t run from things that scare you: face them
6. be quick to reach out for support when things go haywire
7. learn new things as often as you can
8. find an exercise regimen you’ll stick to
9. don’t beat yourself up or dwell on the past
10. recognize what makes you uniquely strong – and own it.
Trying to keep these lessons running through my brain as July 7th gets closer and continue to #BEAstrong.]